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I and i real estate
27 Real Estate Jokes The Best of the Best!
Let’s face it, a few hours of cold calling can sometimes make you want to run for the hills and never look back. While living in the forest may sound VERY appealing right now, it’s not exactly viable for long term growth (no wifi!). Instead, grab a cup of coffee (or a vodka tonic…you’re an independent contractor, right?), kick your feet up, and check out our compilation of the 25 silliest, craziest real estate jokes.
1. Wait Until the Signs are Right
-Valorie L Easter, Keller Williams
“A small real estate broker was dismayed when a brand new real estate franchise much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST AGENTS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST COMMISSIONS. The small real estate broker panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own brokerage-it read…MAIN ENTRANCE.”
2. The Devil and the Agent
-Inna Ivchenko, Barcode Properties
The Devil smiles, “Well, of course you have to give me your soul,” he says, “but you also have to give me the souls of your children, the souls of your children’s children and, as a matter of fact, you have to give me the souls of all your descendants throughout eternity.”
3. The Appraiser’s Wife
4. Genie in a Bottle
The agent thought long and hard and finally accepted the genie’s offer.
“I wish for $10,000,000!!”
“I wish for a vintage Ferrari!”
“I wish I could donate a kidney!”
5. Stress? What Stress?
6. Stay off the West Side!
7. I Want You to Sell my House
-Miguel W Maria, Century 21
8. The Crazy Buyer
9. How to Make a Million Dollars
10. The Balloonist and the Appraiser
– Chris O’Connor, Charles Rutenberg Realty, Inc.
A newbie balloonist is blown off course and is forced to land. He is in a field close to a road, but has no idea where he is. He sees a car coming along the road and hails it. The driver gets out and the balloonist says, “Howdy! Can you tell me where I am?”
“Yes, of course,” says the driver. “You have just landed in your balloon, and with this wind you have obviously been blown off course. You are in the top field on John Dawson’s farm, 10 miles from Charlotte.
John will be plowing the field next week and sowing wheat. There is a bull in the field. It is behind you and about to attack you.”
At that moment, the bull reaches the balloonist and tosses him over the fence. Luckily, the balloonist is unhurt. He gets up, dusts himself off and says to the motorist, “I see you’re an appraiser.”
“Good grief,” says the other man, “you’re right! How did you know that?”
11. Real Estate Agent Infestation
12. What They Think I Do…
-David Zarett, David Zarett Properties
14. The Smartest Kitty in the Room
15. The Neighbors
“The neighbors always leave their sprinklers on which is a little bit annoying. It’s a source of constant irrigation.”
16. But I Have an All Cash Buyer!
17. How Many Agents Does it Take?
-David Telford, KV Realty
18. Jeff Knox, Knox & Associates Real Estate Brokerage
19. I Always Wondered That…
20. Why Doesn’t Everyone Do This?
“Sounds great. I’ll take two.”
21. The Open House
“An old man was on his deathbed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor, and his real estate agent to his bedside. “Here’s $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me.”
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, “I only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new organ.”
“Well, since we’re confiding in each other,” said the doctor, “I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new MRI machine at the hospital which cost $20,000.”
23. California Highway Patrol
A California Highway Patrolman pulls over a speeding motorist. He walks up to the window, and says
The driver responds “Don’t you mean my driver’s license?”
“No,” says the patrolman. “Not everyone in California has one of those.”
24. How to Sell Land
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