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Spooky conspiracy theories

Spooky conspiracy theories





Spooky conspiracy theories-I decided to dig up a very specific batch of my favorite nutcase theories that are clearly horror movies in the making.



Spooky conspiracy theories

. its capstone with Masonic symbols .

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“Bob, aren’t Freemasons mostly politicians and bankers and other people who already kind of rule the world
to the extent that it can be ruled, which is not much?”
LA LA LA LA LA!

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. its deranged murals .

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. and, of course, my old pal El Mesteno, a 32-foot, sculptor-murdering equine beast that guards the airport, better known around these parts as “Oh s**t Run It’s the Giant Hellhorse.” Hi, El Mesteno!

Helen H. Richardson/Denver Post/Getty Images


“‘SUP, DUDE. POKER NIGHT STILL ON?” So, you know. The place is totally either a conspiracy site or thoroughly haunted, at the very least by giant blue horse testicles.

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I kid, of course. Denver International Airport is almost certainly just a regular airport with some admittedly esoteric artistic choices, and even if it did hold some secrets, it’s unlikely to be the creep-zone conspiracy nuts enjoy painting it as. But what if they were right? Can you think of a better place for a truly scary horror movie than Denver International Airport? Or, for that matter, any airport? They’re basically massive cattle carriers for people, and as such come pre-equipped with a heaping helping of rootlessness and anxiety, and that very peculiar “something’s not right” feeling that is the basic ingredient of any good horror flick. You’re neither here nor there at an airport; you could almost say they exist between planes.

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There are virtually unlimited paths for an imaginative horror filmmaker, here. They could just keep the airport as creepy background for some good, old-fashioned Eli Roth-style torture-porn conspiracy. They could have a blue-horse-mask-wearing serial killer stalking the grounds, or just have all that masonic/satanic/Nazi crap be true and make some unholy Hitler poltergeist (Hiltergeist?) haunt the airport. Hell, even if they took a total camp route, at least we’d be treated to Nicolas Cage (you know it would be him) running from old El Mesteno.

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You’d watch the s**t out of that s**t; don’t pretend that you wouldn’t.

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“Giant blue demon-horse balls? Can . can we bring back the bees, please?”

Constantini Michele/PhotoAlto Agency RF/Getty Images

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Much like frontier settlers, mountaineers, and people who voluntarily stand in lines for new iPhones, 19th-century Arctic explorers were in for a rough life with massive risks. The 1845 Arctic expedition of Captain Sir John Franklin found this out the hard way, as they perished to the last man in a conga line of tragedy: shipwreck, disease, lead poisoning due to badly tinned food and/or faulty distilled water systems, and the fact that they were deserted in the goddamn Arctic without adequate equipment, eventually drove the 129-strong group to cannibalism and an early grave. Of course, there’s no telling what would have happened if the giant aliens hadn’t eaten them all.

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According to this particular theory, the doomed Franklin expedition was unfortunate enough to stumble on an awful secret that the higher-ups of the British Empire had been hiding: the Arctic area was teeming with giant super-beings that had control over radiation and could levitate whole ships, a handy skill when your opponent/lunch rolls into your backyard using that exact mode of transport.

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What I love about this theory is that the book (yes, there’s an actual book about this) makes a promise to “follow all the clues, wherever they may lead,” then twists a few notes, chewed bones, and Inuit campfire stories into a tale that manages to somehow be against everything we know about everything, and deduces that clearly the British admiralty managed to cover up an infestation of massive, radiation-spewing telekinetic aliens running amok in the Arctic so that no one in history save for the author has caught wind of them. That’s . a pretty solid performance, as stiff upper lips go.

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As for the movie possibilities of this theory — s**t, take your pick. A 19th-Century The Thing? A Victorian Aliens? Hell, the fact that the author says the aliens were giants (not to mention the radiation thing) could even open up the Kaiju route here. You know what? Just make all of those movies, and throw in an Arctic Victorian Hellraiser to boot. I’ll watch them all, if no one else will. And isn’t that what really matters, Hollywood?

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The May Day Mystery revolves around a series of strange newspaper ads that have appeared in the Arizona Daily Wildcat, the student-run newspaper of the University of Arizona. The advertisements vary in style and size, but they regularly pop up every 1st of May (or on the closest possible day) and occasionally on other dates, too. Their content is an instantly recognizable, eerie mixture of advanced mathematics and history knowledge, and their themes remain more or less consistent. There are elements that repeat themselves: allusions to famous scientists and politicians, liberal use of mathematics and cryptic messages in various languages are all present, and there’s generally a stylized smiling face that seems to act as a signature of sorts. The general vibe of the ads is that of an intellectual challenge of some kind. Wait, didn’t I say this was a university newspaper? Clearly, this is just some student pranking the rest of the campus with logic puzzles, right?

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It could be, yeah. The only problem is that this has been going on since at least 1981. Someone has been sinking insane amounts of time, money, and effort into this thing, so if it’s a student, kudos — they’re going for Andy Kaufman-levels of long con.


Most students would wander away in search of beer before the first ad was even halfway finished. The consistent, eerie ads were noticed by journalist Bryan Hance, a student there in the late ’90s. He became intrigued and made a website so he could discuss his finds with like-minded people. However, it soon became clear that whoever (whatever?) was behind the ads was following Hance’s investigations too. In January 1999, he was contacted by someone claiming to represent a member of an organization called “The Orphanage,” the society behind the ads. They’ve been watching him ever since, occasionally dropping hints and generally encouraging him to solve their riddles, specifically stating: “When you see the door you will be welcomed inside.”

May Day Mystery

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The mystery has been drawing a moderate amount of attention ever since. Along with Hance and other interested parties, Reddit has been tinkering with the mystery, but to this day there is no conclusive breakthrough. Some say (and Occam’s razor strongly suggests) that a local eccentric lawyer, who has allegedly been placing the ads for at least a decade but claims to work for others, is the person behind the “secret society.” Others speculate that either Hance is in on the con or this is a wacky long con that members of the university have been keeping up for decades to mess with people, and a bunch of students and professors are having a ball at Hance’s expense. As for Hance himself, he claims he has been bombarded with over 100 emails, courier packages, phone messages, and even small donations from the people behind the ads over the years. He seems convinced that the ads are actually communication between members of a possibly vast secret society of intellectual dissidents, and something potentially sinister is at hand.

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And he’s stuck right in the middle of it, and they know where he lives. While all of this is likely just a harmless game by some group with a decent amount of time and money on their hands, imagine the horror movie possibilities. s**t, if even a fraction of the more interesting aspects of the case are true, it’s a pretty damn intense thriller in itself. Really, all you need to do is include a final scene where The Orphanage turns out to be tentacle-ridden worshippers of Cthulhu or whatever, and fade to black as the hero is sucked into the abyss. Not, uh, not that this is probably the case in real life.

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Spooky conspiracy theories




SOURCE: http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-creepy-conspiracy-theories-that-need-to-be-horror-movies/


Spooky conspiracy theories

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