Finance

Oct 13 2017

Call Center Archives – Funny – True Stories – Not Always Right Funny – True Stories – Not Always Right #funny #call #center #jokes


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(At the car insurer I work for, sometimes the rate that we offer for renewal will be higher than our own price on a price comparison website. However, as long as all the details are the same we will match our own prices. That last sentence is key.)

Me: “Good Morning. Welcome to [Insurer], How can I help?”

Customer: “Hi, yes, I’ve received my renewal and gone onto that Meerkat site and the price you’re offering me there is less than half the price as the one on my renewal.”

Me: “I can certainly check that for you, and if you have used all of the exact same information I can match our own price.”

(I perform the usual security checks and get the reference numbers for both their current policy and quote.)

Me: “So, can you confirm for me that all the information you put into the quote is the exact same as on your renewal?”

Me: “Okay, so looking here I see that your occupation is different, your mileage is lower, your excess is different, and you haven’t included the accident you were in last year.”

Customer: “Oh, I didn’t think any of that was important… Do they affect the price?”

Related:
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 6
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 5
Not Much Assurance About The Insurance, Part 4

(I work at a call center and as such take inbound calls for customers and sometimes former customers with concerns about their services.)

Me: “Thank you for contacting [Company]. My name is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “My name is [Customer] and I’m a former customer. I moved to Florida and had to cancel my services because you don’t offer your services here!”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry we are not in your area. How may I help you today?”

Customer: “I went online today and I can’t access my email!”

Me: “You can’t access your email?”

Customer: “Yes, I can’t access my email!”

Me: “Sir, you canceled services. You’re not going to be able to access them any longer.”

Me: “Because you canceled the services, sir.”

Customer: “No one told me that! I’ve have emails and items I need access too!”

Me: “I apologize, sir, but that is not possible since you canceled the services.”

Customer: “I’m 73 years old. Someone should have told me that I would not be able to use my email!”

Me: “Sir, you called and ask us to disconnect your services. You’ve also moved out of our service area. If you are no longer a customer and no longer paying for the services then of course you’re not going to have access to the services!”

(I’m an order-taker for a catalog company. Our system is set up in a way that makes it easiest to choose the size first, then the color. You really can’t choose the color first unless you have the abbreviation memorized, which is hard with hundreds of color variations to choose from. For example, we don’t actually carry anything labelled “red”; we have “classic red”, “boxcar red”, “brick red”, “rusty red”, “burgundy”, “cayenne”, etc. each with a different abbreviation. If I can type the size in, I can see a list of colors for that item. But I can’t get there without the size first. This is a frequent conversation:)

Me: “What size would you like that in?”

Me:*trying to alter my tones enough that it sounds like a new question* “Okay, and the size?”

Me: “Okay, I have that in the size red. Would you like the color to be small, medium, large, or extra-large?”

(I recently applied to a local college. According to the application and confirmation email, I was supposed to wait for a letter in the mail. A month later (and creeping up on the application deadline) I have heard nothing. I decide to call the college to get more information, since there is no contact email or phone on either the application or email.)

Me:*calls specific college campus I applied to*

Robot: “Welcome to [College]! If you’re calling for…”

(It goes through a list of options. I select “Enrollment Services.”)

Robot: “For Enrollment services, press…”

(It goes through another list. I again select “Enrollment Services.”)

Robot: “For Enrollment services at [Campus Location], press…”

(It goes through a list of all the campuses, from which I had thought I’d already called the direct line. I select my campus location. After this, I’m routed to an operator.)

Operator: “Where would you like to go?”

Me: “I was hoping to get to Enrollment Serv—”

(Before I can even finish, I get redirected and put on hold for twenty minutes.)

Customer Service Rep: “Hi, this is Enrollment Services. How may I help you?”

Customer Service Rep: “Sorry—” *something unintelligible* “—just flew through the window. Please hold.”

(I’m put on hold for about five minutes.)

Customer Service Rep: “Hi, thank you for holding. How may I help you?”

Me: “Well, I applied about a month ago, and I was told to wait for my letter, but—”

Customer Service Rep: “You don’t actually have to wait for you letter. You actually just log in and check your status and start getting prepared for registration.”

Me: “I had hoped as much, but I’ve tried logging in. It keeps telling me I’m not registered.”

Customer Service Rep: “Well, I can help you reset your password. Just go to [Website].”

(As soon as I get there…)

Customer Service Rep: “Sorry—” *something unintelligible* “—just flew through the window. Please hold.”

(I’m on hold for another five minutes.)

Customer Service Rep #2: “What do you need?”

Me:*surprised* “Oh, well, I was in the middle of a password reset…”

(I give her all my information so she can locate my account. She resets my account, but just to be sure, I ask her to confirm my username. I had created one for the application, and used an email address, but neither of those had come up as registered the several times I’d attempted to log in previously. The confirmation email had no information whatsoever.)

Me: “I’m sorry, just to be sure, is this account attached to [email]? I tried using it as a username, but it didn’t take.”

Customer Service Rep:*pauses for a bit and continues incredibly nastily* “No, it’s [completely different username that I had not been provided with]. Have a nice day.” *hangs up*

(I assume that the username would have been in the letter I never received, but now I’m a little afraid of attending this college. I had been incredibly calm and apologetic the whole time, bounced all over the place, and still the CSRs had acted like I was a giant drag.)


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